Breathe you in

I was listening to this song this morning by a group called  Thousand Foot Krutch. I love this song, because it reminds me that some days there will be so much going on that I feel I can't take anymore...I want out.
There will be those moments when I want to lock myself in the closet until the "mess" goes away...But one thing I am learning is, that sometimes God does not let us off easy, because the lesson is not in the scary foe but in the battle. "How did I trust God?". "How did I stand on His Word through this thing?".
So many of us do this thing where we pray, "God I want more of you, wherever you want me to go I will go"...Really? Do we mean that or do we mean "wherever you want me to go I'll go as long as it's not too uncomfortable or scary". It's easy when we feel we are in His presence; when we have the goosebumps and the worship leader is singing that song that just gets you pumped. We start saying all kinds of stuff to God, but can we deliver? Can we stay committed when He asks us to do something that breaks us down and drives us to our knees?
This has been my challenge. I recently took a step of faith toward something I felt could be a great ministry for me. I saw the doors to other opportunities that I thought I COULD do, close and this one was the only open door...So I approached it to "see what God would do". And when I choked and that door slammed shut into my face I started getting mad at God and myself and then came the whirlwind of negative thoughts and trust me when I tell you the devil had a field day with that. Why was I so upset? God never said it was a done deal. Never said "maybe later" or "not right now" and I was up in arms. God used my husband to share with me about faith that day. That, God was with me and allowed me to experience this disappointment for a purpose. THAT is the High calling. To be willing to step out and maybe even look a little silly sometimes if it means someone or maybe even you can see God more clearly and experience him more intimately.
Moses, had a problem with this too at first. In Exodus 3:10 God commissioned Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell Him the I AM says to release His people. He was constantly telling God that he had the wrong guy. "What id they do not listen to me?"(4v1, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" (3v.11). Each time, God responded that he had his back! That He would go with him. He never said it was going to be easy, but He did say He would be there through it all and that it was all for the sake of His people whom he loved.
When you feel like you are in a rut and can't continue, breathe out your worry, fear and doubt and breathe in Gods promise to ALWAYS be with you and know that HIS word will be a lamp to your feet and a light unto your path.