So, last week I took a "poll" if you will in order to better understand why out of most circles of stay-at-home moms, you find very few women of color. The findings were interesting.
I asked moms who were SAHM's why they stayed home and their ethnicity. The majority(over 90%) stated they stayed home for the first few years of their children's lives at least and either worked from home, went to school or worked outside of the home after that time. What's interesting was the fact that most of these women were married(at the time of being a SAHM.), white women...Very few asian and hispanic but they were fairly represented. I was shocked that I have only one connection who is a full-time stay-at-home mom who is black. Since she was the 1% representing the black population, I picked her brain a little about this...Why is it that a good majority of black mothers worked most if not all of the first few years of their children's lives???
What she shared with me is a big but short word...CHOICE. She was a former anchor person and was offered a position for channel 11, but turned it down. Not because her husband was filthy stinkin' rich or because their marriege was better than the parents on the Cosby show, but because she made a very tough choice between having her own career to putting those things on hold to maintain her house both husband and kids.
Proverbs 31 makes a really great and distinct point that the womans priority FIRST is her home. Whether she has only a husband or both husband and children. It also shares that women can work and still add income to the home as long as those things come second. As long as the needs of that family are met, not just with money, but education, emotional and developmental as well. Things that money can't always buy including time.
I realize that being a stay-at-home mom means leaning a lot on your husband to provide financially and every other sense of the word. He is the houseband. You are his HELPmate. One thing I feel is hard for women of color to really get on board with. I get that oppression is strong in the history of our forefathers, but God has set us free. Even if we choose to stay home with our kids and totally submit to our husbands authority, does not mean we are "enslaved" and being controlled necessarily. That's the lie that the devil has told us for centuries. "No one is gonna tell me what to do", " I need my own money", " I want to be able to have a 'plan b' for my kids if this does not work out".
Don't get me wrong, if a woman is in an abusive relationship where a man is deliberatley taking advantage of her financially, physically and mentally she should look for help to make the best decision for she AND her family. But in reality, God wants us to remember our roles. Not to oppress us, but to bring increase to our lives! He wants us to see Him at the beginning of every endeavor in order to draw us closer to Him and to bring blessing to our seed(our children) through obeying and modeling God's word.
I understand and I believe more importantly GOD understands that there are women who are single(not by choice) with kids. He knows your heart and if you could be home, you would be I'm sure. However you can still show your children what God wants for them and try to make every attempt to show them how to serve and bless their family....With time! Not money...
If you want to stay home and are not quite sure how your husband would feel or you for that matter...Just pray and ask God if its His will that He will soften your husbands heart and that he would make a way financially.
I have been at home almost 2 years and I can say that my son has changed and we have a better relationship. My husband and I talk more and argue less. Are things perfect? No. Do we have money pouring out our ears? Not even close. But God has provided every need and had a healing hand on my house during this time. Its worth every screaming child, piles of laundry and any other daily challenge. If God is for us, who can be against us? I would do it all over again...No regrets!
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